Website?

I woke up, checked my website, and… it was gone.

Just poof. Vanished.

Turns out, my assistant finally had enough of my “we’ll get to it later” attitude and pulled the trigger on a full redesign.

Could you believe that?

ME? Umer Farooq—the Personality-Driven Email Revenue Specialist...

(fancy way of saying, I help businesses make more money with emails so good, people can’t help but buy)

...getting outvoted in my own empire.

Sigh...

So while my minion—err, highly capable assistant is busy making something undeniably epic, we’re stuck here...

But hey, while you wait, you could be making MORE money.

Click below, and let’s talk about how to scale, grow, and take over the world (or at least your industry).

It’s probably the second-best decision you’ll make today...

Because that shirt? Absolutely stunning.

Now, let’s make sure your business looks just as good...

What Website?

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P.S. If this page looks the same next time you visit, blame my assistant.
Or, you know... click and let’s do something productive.

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Oh wow… you really just ignored both buttons, huh?

I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Behold, the:

AKA, your final excuse eliminator.

Read it, then surrender to the inevitable.